Dudley Dashing and The FlyingDutchman
January 5, 2024 at 9:54 pm(Children's Story, Detective story, Entertainment, Folklore, Humour, Short Story) (Dudley Dashing, Dudley Dashing tale, The Flying Dutchman, The Missing Cricket Neo-Jiminy)
The Flying Dutchman travelling through time back to the 19th Century
When Dudley Dashing returned to the Nailsome home in Barnack from which he had been dognapped, he noticed that the Flying Dutchman ship was missing from the Nailsome home clock.
Apparently the Flying Dutchman ship would come out of the clock on the mantle on the fireplace every time the clock chimed the hour.
The Flying Dutchman (like the TARDIS police call box booth in the Dr. Who television series) had the ability to both shrink in size (hence its ability to fit into a living room clock) and travel through time.
That was where Neo-Jiminy the star ⭐️ cricket 🦗 player for the Snowflakia Snowflakes Snow ❄️ Cricket 🏏 team had been hidden after he had been drugged, shanghaied and cricket 🦗 napped by the evil Nailsome family.
The Nailsome family owned the Barnack Barnacles Snow ❄️ Cricket 🏏 team who were the rivals to play the Snowflakia Snowflakes Snow ❄️ Cricket 🏏 team at this year’s World Snow ❄️ Cricket 🏏 Cup.
The evil Admiral Horatio Nailsome and his evil but very sultry and seductive daughter Carlotta had figured that by cricket 🦗 napping Neo-Jiminy the star ⭐️ cricket 🦗 player for the Snowflakia Snowflakes Snow ❄️ Cricket 🏏 team, this would ensure that their Barnack Barnacles Snow ❄️ Cricket 🏏 team would win this year’s World Snow ❄️ Cricket 🏏 Cup.
And so Saint Bernard dog 🐶 private eye extraordinaire Dudley Dashing had gone to the Nailsome home to retrieve the Flying Dutchman from the clock on the mantlepiece.
But apparently the Flying Dutchman had gone to both a different time and a different place.
However there was apparently a TARDIS phone booth in the village of Tinwell not far from the town of Stamford.
So Dudley went to that phone booth (which was located in the Tinwell village blacksmith shop) and put in the right amount of British coinage 🪙 and then dialled a number to use the TARDIS booth’s CPS (Cosmic Positioning System) as opposed to GPS (Global Positioning System) to pinpoint the current time and place of where and when the Flying Dutchman ship was located.
Dudley dialled another number and then went back in time to Lincoln Cathedral sometime in the 1880s (the year 1881 to be exact around the time Sherlock Holmes had met Dr. Watson to be precise) where the Flying Dutchman ship currently was.
Due to a crossing of wires (as a result of an extended Cosmic Telephone Operators’ coffee break down at ye olde Cosmic Telephones Exchange), Dudley was in the time and place of Lincoln Cathedral in 1881 but he could still hear a blathering and long winded Friday night sermon being preached by Lincoln Cathedral’s current modernist Dean the Very Rev. Ferry Oddfather on this date of Friday January 5th 2024.
The Flying Dutchman appears to a little girl standing alongside a pillar in Lincoln Cathedral in the year 1881.
The little girl was quite surprised to see a tiny ship (The Flying Dutchman) flying through the air and captured in the sun’s rays filtering through the Cathedral’s lovely stained glass windows.
“Hello,” Dudley raised his private eye style fedora hat to the little girl, “I hope you don’t mind but I have to take this little boat back to the time and place where I come from. Here’s a British £ pound coin 🪙 with King Charles III’s image on it. You’ll be the first person in history ever to receive such a coin 🪙. “
“Who’s King Charles III?” The little girl asked.
“Some nut who likes to talk to plants 🌱 🪴,” Dudley answered.
At that moment, the voice of Lincoln Cathedral’s current modernist Dean The Very Rev. Ferry Oddfather could be heard echoing in both times and places.
Blathered the Very Rev. Ferry Oddfather, “Like our Archbishop of Canterbury Justin Welby and Pope Francis, I’m very much in favour of blessing same-sex unions.”
“Cuckoo! Cuckoo! Cuckoo!” The miniature cuckoo bird on Dudley’s miniature Swiss cuckoo watch went off.
“Yes, little girl,” Dudley smiled, “Pay no attention to the voices from the 21st Century. They’re very much cuckoo for the most part.”
Dudley returned to the 21st Century with the Flying Dutchman.
And Neo-Jiminy the star ⭐️ cricket 🦗 player for the Snowflakia Snowflakes ❄️ Snow ❄️ Cricket 🏏 team was freed.
And then it turned out the Nailsome family father and daughter duo’s cricket 🦗 napping plans for Neo-Jiminy were for nought.
Neo-Jiminy failed his drug test.
It turned out he was using massive amounts of steroids.
He was expelled from playing in the World Cup game.
“It’s funny,” the Saint Bernard dog 🐶 private eye extraordinaire Dudley Dashing remarked to his secretary Little Red Riding Hood, “that this never occurred to the geniuses at the World Snow ❄️ Cricket 🏏 Federation before. How it was that a tiny cricket 🦗 like Neo-Jiminy was able to lift such a large cricket 🏏 bat to be able to hit the cricket 🏏 ball.”
-A Dudley Dashing tale
Written by Christopher
Friday January 5th
2024.
